I am redoing my website at the moment therefore it is reviewing time for me. Lots of questions come up and the only way to find answers is to look inside and see what surfaces … Sometimes no answer comes up or maybe not immediately, that is fine too, if one knows how to take it, otherwise it is a disaster! Yes, I am impatient sometimes and want to know when possibly there’s nothing to know … I learnt over the years to wait and listen carefully with no expectations. This time is a mixture of thoughts and feelings that emerge, merge, re-emerge and leave …
Finding my inspiration
I have been through a not particularly exciting patch of my life recently and finding the inspiration on a daily basis is tricky at times. Obviously calling myself ‘Flying Inspiration’ puts a bit of pressure on me, I try to just look at this pressure without claiming it as mine and let it go. When I manage to find my inspiration though it is fine, actually it is more than fine, it is super exciting to be honest, but it is not something that one can package very easily, just the opposite. I would say that inspiration is the epitome of freedom which is another thing almost impossible to package or define easily. Both freedom and inspiration are different for everybody because they evoke in us different emotions, memories or concepts, therefore they are difficult to describe and be defined. Nevertheless I will try to share my experience of inspiration with you hoping that it might bring some insights to you and might be valuable for your personal growth.
Coming across a treasure
As I was saying I was looking in my archives to see what I have done through the years to decide what to put on my website pages and what not and … I came across a speech that I wrote seven years ago for a talk I was asked to do at an event for women in South London about the divine feminine; while I was reading it I realised which event it was and memories started flowing into my consciousness slowly slowly. I hadn’t completely forgotten about it, but I hadn’t thought of that event for years, it was tucked away somewhere in my memory and I definitely forgot the content of it. So there I was reading my speech not really knowing what was in it … this in itself is weird enough to get one’s attention and it got mine entirely. I was smiling, I felt moved, I was surprised and taken by my own words that were depicting scenes belonging to my life. The freshness of the thoughts described hit me right in my heart and before I knew I started sobbing and to my surprise I felt inspired by my own life journey?!
A surprise unexpected
I am not a stranger to this type of happening, it is something that I experienced before, but certainly not many times and every time that happened I felt elated, enthused, light, free, amazed, joyous, curious and above all inspired! As I hadn’t felt like that for some time, I stopped and stayed with that wonderful feeling of freedom and amazement without trying to hold it or keep it all to myself, I simply wallowed in it like a pig would do in mud, as they say. How could this be possible? Was it really me who wrote that and who lived all that? A part of me obviously was recognising herself in it as there were facts of my life, but another part was simply wondering who that person was … The inner chatter or critic didn’t kick in so I just stayed with this mixture of feelings without judging them or diminishing them, simply observing them and enjoying them. After a while a bout of pride started surfacing in my heart and mind; I said to myself “Wow, maybe you should do that talk again somewhere in the future, simply repeating it without changing anything and see the effect that has on people”.
Inner inspiration
I have been in my life to many events with inspiring speakers and have enjoyed them and learnt a lot from them, but the rare times when I felt inspired by myself, my story, my journey, it was so different! It is tricky to put it in words but the knowledge and feelings that come up are so much stronger and poignant that they change something in your core, in the essence of your being and you are not the same any more. So I had my few minutes of bliss and suspension from time and space and when I came back to my body, seat and laptop which was still lying in front of myself on my desk, I felt refreshed and like a new person ready to hit the road and go! Where I didn’t know, but I could feel inside that sense of freedom and infinite possibilities that we so often feel during our teenage years when we are growing up and the outside world feel so far and so close, but it is our oyster in fact. I hadn’t felt like that in ages and all I had to do was thanking myself for the inspiration, it was so strange! For few seconds I could really understand the meaning of appreciating the journey rather than the destination as in those words I wrote few years ago there was everything I needed to reset myself and my life. How nice when those fleeting moments happen, I can’t package them and sell them to you, but they taste so delicious, maybe because we can’t hold on to them. If we don’t hold on to them, they might come back and possibly sooner than we think, but I know the temptation to repeat them at will is high and it is part of the human nature: it is very difficult to accept that everything passes and we can’t hold on to anything, not even our own life, it will just finish one day …
It can be your daily life
Have you ever been inspired by yourself? If yes, when and what happened? How did you feel inside? Would you share that experience with me? I would love to read your comments or your story. I am aware that it is not always that easy to narrate an inner event, but sometimes it is worth the effort because we don’t know who is going to read our words … I hope you would like to share your words with me. By the way you don’t need to hold inspiring talks to inspire yourself and others, it can be a much smaller thing like a smile or a kind comment you share with someone, it doesn’t have to be a big deed. If it happens to you I would suggest that you write it down as it might be useful for later as it happened to me, life is full of ups and downs … Remembering our ups helps us go through our downs.
If you would like to find out more about my work with women and the female cycle you can check Flying Inspiration. Thanks for reading and may you be able to inspire yourself and open the inner door of your heart. Love and hugs from ‘The Flying Witch’
