Wilderness and me

I was a city dweller for a long time …

I was born half a century ago in Turin, a big city in the North of Italy where I lived continuously till I was 32, except for holidays.  After working in the Maldives for three months, I moved to London, as I met a Brit while I was working in ‘paradise’.  I lived for 11 and a half years in London after which my soul had the best of me and I had to surrender and move into the countryside.  Since December 2009 I have been living in Berkhamsted, a tiny town in Hertfordshire, and I love it.

Coming closer to Nature and downsizing

I still live in a town, but I am five minutes’ walk from fields and woods, where I can see horses, sheep, deer, dogs, squirrels, rabbits, pheasants, badgers, etc. so I feel fine.  After I moved to Berkhamsted I had one or two years of cleansing when I spent a lot of time walking in Nature in daylight, at dusk, with sunshine, rain, snow, ice, wind and the rest.  Slowly slowly I settled for less frequent walks, but I would walk in the woods at least two or three times a week, weather permitting.  At the same time I also started my flying training which gave me the advantage of being in the sky and among the clouds. Unfortunately I had to be in a shell called glider to do that, as I haven’t transformed into a bird yet.  Little by little I became more and more aware that my town is getting a bit too urban for me and I started dreaming of moving into the woods, rather than just walking there.  With time going by I also feel more and more the call of the sea and this huge urge of moving next to the ocean.

What is this all about?

I think that by observing my female cycle closely for years, I have become more and more in tune with myself to a point that I can’t ignore the needs of my soul any longer. Living in a town or a city is not a place that inspires me any more, just the opposite!  I need a constant feel for Nature so that I can feel appeased and flowing in my life, rather than stressed by unknown factors.  Having lived for the majority of my life in urban surroundings, whenever I found myself in natural environments like in the mountains, at the seaside, near lakes, in deserts or wherever I ended up in my extensive peregrinations in different continents, I noticed how my energy would change whenever I would be in proximity with Nature. And so did my moods, my thoughts, my insights and my body reactions and sensations to a point that I am now certain that for me this is a must, a ‘conditio sine qua non’ that I can’t ignore any longer!

Menopause

I have been now for few years on my peri-menopausal journey and have seen how everything in me is changing rapidly. My look, my physical needs, my desires, my feelings, priorities, aspirations, inspirations, etc.  There isn’t a single corner of myself that is not changing and trembling before collapsing. This process is so strong and unstoppable that I can only go with it and observe it in awe.  Wilderness is calling and I can only be a diligent servant to it and its higher consciousness, or better I should say her higher consciousness!  I think that Wilderness like Nature are definitely feminine.  It is the power of Nature and the Feminine which is intrinsic with it that calls and Gabriella has to go.  Fashion, make-up, formalities, plans are all going down the drain while my hair is growing and so my intuition.  I am becoming more and more psychic and my body needs are becoming an imperative. If my body says no, it’s a No, period!  Meditation and my walking meditation in Nature are a paramount part of my day and if I can’t fit them in, I grieve and feel despondent towards myself for having ignored my soul needs.  I still consider myself as a civilised person, meaning that I appreciate to go out for a nice meal, meeting friends, visiting places, etc. but I am much more connected to Nature than anything else in the world.  Social commitments seem ghosts to me and trivial formalities feel like hell.

Chit chat?

I enjoy it sometimes, but most of the times I keep it to myself and focus on meaningful conversations with the outside world, otherwise I shut up and enjoy silence and darkness: where it all starts and ends.  In darkness and in silence there is solace, calm, peace and wisdom, all that I need at the moment, nothing more!  I see myself as a wild wolf who smells the wind and the moss on the ground and then decides which path to follow.  I am craving the music of the waves and the rustling of the foliage during a storm. I love thunder and lightning and feel excited by dark blue clouds, the more menacing the better!  Dramatic landscapes depict my soul desires at best and the calm that fills my heart when witnessing them.  I am looking forward now to my future and the initiations they are waiting for me to embody my full power as a mature, wild, wise Woman and a ‘Woman of The 21^st Century’.  In the meantime I enjoy my last cycles before they disappear from my life for good. I cherish and honour everyone of them by saying “hello” and “good-bye” to everyone that shows up and graces my existence.  I am becoming what I have now been declaring for years: a ‘Flying Inspiration’ and a ‘Flying Witch’.  Life is wonderful and exciting!   P.S. If you wonder what a ‘Woman of The XXI Century’ is let me know and I will send you my vision!